I'm going to try and get some work done so I can relax tonight - just wanted to let you know I'm doing well and I'll fill you in on whether or not I look like an IV drug abuser by the end of the day tomorrow!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
learnin' some skillz
I survived the post-test partying - I didn't go too crazy. Just needed some downtime and relaxation. The next 2 weeks are dedicated to our transition into clinical medicine! Yesterday, I learned how to scrub into the OR and suture. It was pretty fun. Today was just an EKG reading assignment and now I have time for self study. Which means I just have to complete some online training programs which are probably super boring. Logistics. Tomorrow shall be an interesting day of needle sticking and practicing. My group is learning to insert IVs and draw blood, etc.
I'm going to try and get some work done so I can relax tonight - just wanted to let you know I'm doing well and I'll fill you in on whether or not I look like an IV drug abuser by the end of the day tomorrow!
I'm going to try and get some work done so I can relax tonight - just wanted to let you know I'm doing well and I'll fill you in on whether or not I look like an IV drug abuser by the end of the day tomorrow!
Friday, June 13, 2008
FREE
I know have my LIFE back and freedom! My parents say that I sound different on the phone. That I'm back - apparently I didn't sound like myself for the past month. I guess at least I'M BACK!!!! So that's a good thing.
It's over - how'd it go? Well, it was long and hard, but it's over and right now that's all that matters. Last night I went out to dinner with some friends to celebrate and then I headed out to harrisburg for a few drinks with some of the first years (which I guess are now second years - seeing as I'm a 3rd year!).
Grandma called me before I went out to warn me not to drink too much and to take it slow. She said to nurse my drink. Well no worries Gma - I wouldn't say I necessarily nursed my drink, but I only had a small headache when I woke up. That and bedside lamp was still on hmm.... guess I forgot to turn it off before falling asleep.
Tonight I'm off to DC with a few friends to see Alicia Keys in concert! Yeah! Then at some point I have to come back home and put my place back in order.
Thanks again for all the cards, the love, and support over the past 5 weeks. It honestly has meant the world to me. Knowing that I have your love, support, and faith in me is what keeps me going and I would not be able to accomplish this without all of you. So thank you, thank you, thank you! Soon I will be HOME!!!!!!!!!!
*much love*
It's over - how'd it go? Well, it was long and hard, but it's over and right now that's all that matters. Last night I went out to dinner with some friends to celebrate and then I headed out to harrisburg for a few drinks with some of the first years (which I guess are now second years - seeing as I'm a 3rd year!).
Grandma called me before I went out to warn me not to drink too much and to take it slow. She said to nurse my drink. Well no worries Gma - I wouldn't say I necessarily nursed my drink, but I only had a small headache when I woke up. That and bedside lamp was still on hmm.... guess I forgot to turn it off before falling asleep.
Tonight I'm off to DC with a few friends to see Alicia Keys in concert! Yeah! Then at some point I have to come back home and put my place back in order.
Thanks again for all the cards, the love, and support over the past 5 weeks. It honestly has meant the world to me. Knowing that I have your love, support, and faith in me is what keeps me going and I would not be able to accomplish this without all of you. So thank you, thank you, thank you! Soon I will be HOME!!!!!!!!!!
*much love*
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
it's finally here
The eve of my Boards. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....................................
So I took the afternoon off, after a mini freak out. Not really a mini freak out, but more of a just I am super tired. My body and brain are both just extremely exhausted. This morning I was just trying to read through a few more things and my brain just shut off. I finally left, close to tears. But I'm a crier and heck I'm proud I lasted this long until tears started to show themselves. It's ok - I think it's a form of stress relief for me in a way. Anyways, Mel just gave me a bug hug and then shoved me out to go home and relax.
I took a mini walk at my favorite park, then came home sprawled out on my floor turned on my music and took a 10 minute nap. Afterwards, I went to a place down the street and had a pedicure. Then it was a movie and dinner with a few friends. We saw "What Happens in Vegas" - which was funnier than I thought.
Now - I'm home. I think everything's packed and ready. I have my lunch and snacks for tomorrow. I have my comfy and layered clothes, lucky underwear and all.
So this is how tomorrow works. I wake up in the morning, meet Siraj and 7:00 am at school - he is driving me to the testing center. This exam is broken down into 7 - 50 minute blocks (yes that's a 7 hour exam!). We are granted 45 minutes break time that we may take however we like during that time period and if we skip the 15 minute tutorial in the beginning we can gain an extra 15 minutes of break time.
So I will have 7 hrs of exam and an hour break! I plan to take the four sections before eating lunch that way it's all downhill after that. We'll see how this goes!
I've spent the past 35 days preparing for this one day.
I've done my best and I cannot ask myself for more.
Ok, time to try and attempt to get some sleep! Wish me luck!
I know you all wanted to see a picture of my lovely toe.
So I took the afternoon off, after a mini freak out. Not really a mini freak out, but more of a just I am super tired. My body and brain are both just extremely exhausted. This morning I was just trying to read through a few more things and my brain just shut off. I finally left, close to tears. But I'm a crier and heck I'm proud I lasted this long until tears started to show themselves. It's ok - I think it's a form of stress relief for me in a way. Anyways, Mel just gave me a bug hug and then shoved me out to go home and relax.
I took a mini walk at my favorite park, then came home sprawled out on my floor turned on my music and took a 10 minute nap. Afterwards, I went to a place down the street and had a pedicure. Then it was a movie and dinner with a few friends. We saw "What Happens in Vegas" - which was funnier than I thought.
Now - I'm home. I think everything's packed and ready. I have my lunch and snacks for tomorrow. I have my comfy and layered clothes, lucky underwear and all.
So this is how tomorrow works. I wake up in the morning, meet Siraj and 7:00 am at school - he is driving me to the testing center. This exam is broken down into 7 - 50 minute blocks (yes that's a 7 hour exam!). We are granted 45 minutes break time that we may take however we like during that time period and if we skip the 15 minute tutorial in the beginning we can gain an extra 15 minutes of break time.
So I will have 7 hrs of exam and an hour break! I plan to take the four sections before eating lunch that way it's all downhill after that. We'll see how this goes!
I've spent the past 35 days preparing for this one day.
I've done my best and I cannot ask myself for more.
Ok, time to try and attempt to get some sleep! Wish me luck!
I know you all wanted to see a picture of my lovely toe.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
last big push
The countdown has begun 4.5 days left of studying. That's it after 5 weeks of this - the end is finally here. I never thought I would be able to say I'm ready to take this exam. And I'm not necessarily prepared, but I'm ready for this to be over. Everyone is - you can see people getting antsy as our test dates start to arrive. It's like the beginning of the end. People start taking them this week, each day more and more of us will be done. Then the celebrating can begin.
So I'm putting my head down and pushing through for 4.5 more days, then relaxing a 1/2 day before the exam.
Thank you all for your love and support through this. It really has meant the world to me - to know that you love me and are behind me 100%.
Deep breath...here I go
So I'm putting my head down and pushing through for 4.5 more days, then relaxing a 1/2 day before the exam.
Thank you all for your love and support through this. It really has meant the world to me - to know that you love me and are behind me 100%.
Deep breath...here I go
Thursday, June 5, 2008
a week!
One week from today! 7 days and only 6 days left of studying! Ahh...I can't wait. The end is in sight.
This morning we made our test run. My friend Siraj (whose taking the test at the same time and same place) and I are driving to the testing center to make sure we know the way have a feel for traffic, etc. Thankfully he's driving. I already have the worst sense of direction known to man and everyday I lose a little bit more of my common sense. So it's my job to give Siraj his wake up call and it's his job to get me there.
We made it to the testing center! It's a nice little place 8 computers and 8 little lockers to put our stuff in. Small lockers I need to decrease the size of my purse before going, but at least I figured it out now. I get a good vibe from the testing center - it'll be a good place to take the exam.
A wake up call. Yesterday, I received an email from a friend that really hit home. It served as a reality check.
I hope that you will find peace of mind throughout all of this. Don't feel guilty if you need to chill. You are operating at full capacity and it's necessary to turn off the machine so it dosent over heat. Also, you can readjust any of the nuts and bolts that might be loose. Not saying you're going crazy, just trying to prevent it. I feel sad that you are experiencing this much pressure. I don't think its supposed to be this way. Even though you choose this it dosent have to be this exhausting. Remember: doing your best means knowing when to chill.
Anyway, I want you to take care, continue to learn, and try to enjoy breathing. Take a walk without golgan, cook without buzzwords, or watch TV without doing anything else!
This morning we made our test run. My friend Siraj (whose taking the test at the same time and same place) and I are driving to the testing center to make sure we know the way have a feel for traffic, etc. Thankfully he's driving. I already have the worst sense of direction known to man and everyday I lose a little bit more of my common sense. So it's my job to give Siraj his wake up call and it's his job to get me there.
We made it to the testing center! It's a nice little place 8 computers and 8 little lockers to put our stuff in. Small lockers I need to decrease the size of my purse before going, but at least I figured it out now. I get a good vibe from the testing center - it'll be a good place to take the exam.
A wake up call. Yesterday, I received an email from a friend that really hit home. It served as a reality check.
I hope that you will find peace of mind throughout all of this. Don't feel guilty if you need to chill. You are operating at full capacity and it's necessary to turn off the machine so it dosent over heat. Also, you can readjust any of the nuts and bolts that might be loose. Not saying you're going crazy, just trying to prevent it. I feel sad that you are experiencing this much pressure. I don't think its supposed to be this way. Even though you choose this it dosent have to be this exhausting. Remember: doing your best means knowing when to chill.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
morning
It's morning. Things are always better in the morning.
A part of me feels guilty or like I was begging for sympathy in my previous post. That's not the situation. There's a part of me that wants to express the difficulty that is my life right now, because sometimes I feel like I sugar coat it. It's stress and pressure. We (medical students) place a lot of weight on this exam (probably a little too much in the big scheme of things). But it is the first step in obtaining our license to be able to practice medicine. This is the exam that will help determine what field we may be able to go into and this is the exam that could get me back to California. Obviously, I'm nervous. 2 years of information being crammed into my brain in 34 days.
But at the end of the day, everyday - I do realize how lucky and blessed I am to be here. I asked for this, heck I was begging for it - just get me into medical school. This is what I wanted and here I am. So even in light of my last post, I am lucky and blessed (that doesn't stop me from feeling like crap sometimes or complaining). But, I'm young, with my whole life in front of me and I have a wonderful family and friends and am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I could not ask for more.
A part of me feels guilty or like I was begging for sympathy in my previous post. That's not the situation. There's a part of me that wants to express the difficulty that is my life right now, because sometimes I feel like I sugar coat it. It's stress and pressure. We (medical students) place a lot of weight on this exam (probably a little too much in the big scheme of things). But it is the first step in obtaining our license to be able to practice medicine. This is the exam that will help determine what field we may be able to go into and this is the exam that could get me back to California. Obviously, I'm nervous. 2 years of information being crammed into my brain in 34 days.
But at the end of the day, everyday - I do realize how lucky and blessed I am to be here. I asked for this, heck I was begging for it - just get me into medical school. This is what I wanted and here I am. So even in light of my last post, I am lucky and blessed (that doesn't stop me from feeling like crap sometimes or complaining). But, I'm young, with my whole life in front of me and I have a wonderful family and friends and am doing exactly what I want to be doing. I could not ask for more.
Monday, June 2, 2008
not soon enough
Almost there ... that's what I keep telling myself. I'm not done studying - don't think you ever could be. But I'm getting close to reaching the limit of my sanity. I can't do this much longer. I feel like a zombie. The same routine day after day after day, barely a moment to breathe, barely a moment just for me. I feel as if the emotion is being drained from my body little by little. It's always worse in the afternoon. Then evening comes and I just think to myself - ok one more day down. Tomorrow morning I'll cross it off the calendar.
I knew it was going to be tough and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Well...probably true, but I don't think that's always a good thing. I miss people. I miss life and laughter and fun.
I know most of my posts are at least somewhat positive, but this is the reality of it. I know - keep chugging along and I will. It's a challenge and I will survive.
I knew it was going to be tough and what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Well...probably true, but I don't think that's always a good thing. I miss people. I miss life and laughter and fun.
I know most of my posts are at least somewhat positive, but this is the reality of it. I know - keep chugging along and I will. It's a challenge and I will survive.
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