It's crazy - I've only been in Tucson for less than 2 months and yet I feel more comfortable here than I ever did in Hershey. Today I was driving in the car when I realized everything felt comfortable. It was a weird feeling, I haven't had in nearly 4 years. In Hershey, I always kept looking toward the next step. Where will I be in 4 years? I continually imagined myself in various locations - wondering where residency would take me. I felt like I was missing out on other parts of my life. That I was stuck in a rut and really not moving forward. I'm sure residency will have those times as well - that 80 hr work week, doesn't leave much time for other things.
But for the first time in a long while - I'm living more in the moment. Less worried about where the future is going to take me. I'm happy right where I'm at. In 3 years when residency is over, where will I go? I don't know and to tell you the truth I'm not even really thinking about it. It's great.
I finally feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm in the place where I'm supposed to be doing it. I'm surrounded by a bunch of wonderful, interesting people, with more things to do than I have time for.
It's good to feel at peace and comfortable in my own skin once again.
P.S. Soon I'll blog about my ER rotation.
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