ocean view

I feel as if I'm standing atop a cliff with the ocean waves crashing far far below. It has taken me the past 3 years to hike up to the top of this cliff and finally I can see the beautiful horizon. This year I get to stand here, atop the cliff and enjoy the feel of the ocean breeze upon my face and the gorgeous view. I have to enjoy it, because at the end of the year I must jump. Jump into the cool blue ocean below. I can land with a crisp clean dive enveloped by the welcoming water to start a new adventure or I could belly flop...ouch.

That's sort of how I feel. I look forward to this next year excited, but truthfully I'm scared. I have none to very little control over the next stage in my life. It's very scary that next year at this point in time I can honestly tell you I have no idea where I will be. From the places I currently have on my list of residencies to apply to - I could be anywhere from as far west as San Francisco, California to as far east as Chicago, Illinois! And the only control I have is to make a list of the places that interview me and hope that it all works out.

I keep telling myself that if I end up somewhere not as close to home as I would like - it's just another 3 years and it's another new city to explore. I'm ready to be back home, though. I'm tired of living my life in 4 year chapters.

Even though I'm scared, this is the year for me to live it up! I actually get my life back this year before I become a slave to the system once again.