How do you like medical school?

Another week on L&D (labor & delivery) for me! Today the resident I was working with asked me, "So how do you like medical school?" I let out a small sarcastic laugh and a smile - knowing he would understand. It's not quite what I expected was my reply. In all honesty, I'm not really sure what I expected, but this wasn't it. I've thought about this many times before and there is a lot about medical school that is exciting and cool - as many of my posts end up being about such things. Yet, I don't think that I give you the full exposure to what it is really like.
So here's sort of my response and most likely somewhat rambling answer to "How do you like medical school?"

Sometimes I am amazed that at one point in my life I was practically begging for this opportunity. All I could think of was getting into medical school. I worked hard for 4 years and it all came down to applying and matriculating into medical school. People would say that the information is not hard, it is just the massive amount that is thrown at you. It's like being given a phone book and having to memorize it. Truly massive amounts of information that even if you studied everyday all day you still wouldn't know it all. It's impossible. Life in medical school is relatively unbalanced to say the least. There are feelings of guilt when not studying, because there is always more to do and more to learn. I am getting better and making time for me, but it still is difficult.

3rd year is better than 1st & 2nd year, because there is less book work and more time actually spent with patients. Yet, I am paying to work more than 40 hours a week and am still expected to be studying on top of that. Right now I'm lucky, because I really enjoy my attendings and residents. As a 3rd year you are lucky if you get along with your resident, because that person essentially becomes your best friend for the week. I spend more time (8+hrs per day) with the resident I work with than any other person in my life. My job is to follow them around. All day.

That's what you do as a 3rd year - you follow, try not to contaminate the sterile field in the operating room, and attempt to not appear out of place. You write notes and take histories, but it's all for practice and not really worth much. Some days you sit there and the doctor gets up to leave - do you follow them? or are they just going to the bathroom or going to get a piece of paper? If you don't follow - well then you may miss out on something, but if you do follow, well you may look like a little puppy dog following it's master. Right now I don't feel like a puppy dog. On this rotation the residents and attendings have been great and I feel more a part of the team.

I'm not trying to complain. I'm just trying to give you a better understanding of it all. This is what I want to do with the rest of my life - not the following part, but the medicine part. I cannot imagine doing anything else. You have to love it to survive and stay sane. I would never encourage anyone to go into medicine. No way. You have to really want it to put yourself through this. Heck, I'm lucky because of the 80hr work week law that was past for residents years ago.

Med school - it's tough, it's grueling, and some days it feels like a battle just to keep afloat. Yet on most days I am still glad to be here. I will survive, but in the end I will have been changed by this process. I just hope I can hang onto my idealism a little longer. 17.5 more months and I will have a long white coat. (Medical students wear short white coats and actual MD's get to wear long ones)